HELPFUL STRANGER: My sister swears by that stuff. It stopped her flu in its tracks.
ME: Wow, it’s really expensive. I think I’ll do a little reading up on it first.
HELPFUL STRANGER: You can’t believe everything you read.
ME: You can’t believe everything people swear by.
HELPFUL STRANGER (FLUSTERED): Well, illness is all in the mind anyway.
She was being “helpful” because she’d already heard me tell the owner of the small store we were in that my wife was really sick with a bad flu. So when she said “illness is all in the mind anyway,” it seemed particularly obnoxious.
ME: Honey, while I was out shopping, someone explained what’s wrong with you! You just need to change your attitude! It’s all in your mind!
HONEY: *HACK-HACK-HACK* WTF?!! *HACK-HACK-HACK* %@[email protected]&^!!!