Predators ★☆☆☆☆ A weak homage

Predators, 2010, starring Adrien Brody, Laurence Fishburne, Topher Grace; directed by Nimród Antal; script by Alex Litvak, Michael Finch

A weak homage to the original, well-intentioned but slow, stilted, and non-scary. Only slightly better than the other sequels. Suffers badly from Variable Monster Power Syndrome: a critter that can rip out a man’s spine in one scene is killed in the next by a Japanese mobster with an old sword? And another predator nearly gets his ass kicked by a dude with an axe — it pretty much just stands there and takes it for a while, like it’s not actually an intelligent, strong, or ferocious alien predator at all.

I need my monsters not to suddenly become conveniently whuppable at key moments.