Splice ★☆☆☆☆ Not-in-a-good-way creepy

Splice, 2009, Sarah Polley, Adrien Brody; directed by Vincenzo Natali

Over-rated by nearly every critic, this film is not-in-a-good-way creepy: a shallow mutant flick with a gratuitous incest theme that provokes eye rolls instead of thought, just cheap sexploitation of genetics gone wrong. The monster is absurdly endowed with every biological characteristic the film’s creators could remember from other films. The actors sound like they are reading, and their characters are irritatingly incompetent and irrational. Cardboard cutout mad scientists making one implausible decision after another followed by an inevitable but charmless killing-spree does not make good sci-fi or horror. Why anyone would call this film “fresh” is a mystery to me.