Late last spring I developed a minor, nagging sore throat. By the winter it was a full-blown chronic pain nightmare. It felt like something was stuck in my throat, a shitty phenomenon called “globus sensation.” My pharynx and esophagus started to spasm and clench regularly. I often felt like swallowing was an awkward, painful chore.
The months ticked by, and my throat stayed about the same, sometimes a little better, sometimes a little worse, but never actually good. I wrote a very popular1 article about the sensation of a lump in the throat. I get heart-wrenching email about it from people grappling with the same dilemma I’ve had: is there really something in there? Or is it “just” stress and anxiety?
And then I found a stone in my throat.
Absolutely the damndest thing that has ever happened to me
I felt a sharp catch in the back of my throat, like I’d swallowed a burr or a scrap of rough sandpaper. It was a familiar symptom, but an unfamiliar intensity: sharper, catchier than ever before. I rushed to the bathroom and performed a procedure that has become familiar, a stupid human trick I’ve picked up over the last few months: using a plastic syringe, I flushed my tonsil with salty water, chilled and distilled. This has often been a great source of temporary relief.
And a rock came out. A bloody rock came out of my tonsil! A rock! From my tonsil!
A hard, jagged stone popped out of my tonsil onto my tongue. I watched it happen. There’s no question where it came from. I was using a tongue depressor, and had a bright flashlight shining on the scene.
I scooped it out of my mouth with a Q-tip. And I have it in an envelope now. Picture below, but I need to explain something before you see it and think, “What, that’s it?”
There is no such thing as a “small” rock in your tonsil
It’s like a tiny asteroid. If it hit the atmosphere at 30,000 kph, it would make a lovely shooting star.2 It is not imposing…but you would not want it in your eye, your tonsil, or any delicate crevice.
Imagine finally scratching the worst itch of your life. Imagine the end of Chinese water torture. Imagine something stuck between your teeth for a year, finally pried loose. Think about how much the lion suffered from a thorn in his paw. In this case, it was a thorn I couldn’t see or touch, just a maddening irritation deep in my throat.
Tonsil stones: a disgusting crash course
Tonsilloliths or tonsillar calculi are totally a thing. A thing I wish I’d never heard of.
Like kidneys and gall bladders, tonsils can form nasty little calcifications. Tonsils are roughly mushroom-shaped glands behind your molars, full of nooks and crannies (tonsillar crypts). Tonsilloliths can grow and fester in there, like crud stuck between your teeth that never gets flossed.
People just get them from time to time, like canker sores or cavities, and they may cause some bad breath or temporary mild discomfort. They are mostly just gross, not painful. They are typically the texture of hard feta cheese. I had gotten several of this type out of my tonsil over the last few months — I know: sexy, right? — and they didn’t impress me as the likely cause of my troubles.
My doctors didn’t think so either.3 But wait until they see what I found in there! I bet they’re going to be so impressed!
Tonsil stone update: 10 weeks after Stone Day
The stone came out Aug 5, and it’s now mid-October. The best thing — life-changing, really — is that the globus sensation and general pharyngeal freak-out slowly wound down over about 3-4 weeks. That particularly awful problem is still gone. Hallelujah.
Three signature symptoms4 vanished the moment the stone came out. Other than a couple nerve-wracking relapses the following week, their defeat seemed decisive.
Some significant diffuse soreness and hoarseness also backed off over a month — a traumatized throat, slowly calming down.
By mid-September, I felt better than I had in a year, and I dared to hope it was truly all over. I enjoyed that feeling until the 26th, when I felt a snag of pain in the back of my throat — the “raw catch” was back, a quiet but clear and ominous echo of the symptom that started it all. And then nothing for days. And then again! And then a few more symptoms made a comeback. In the last week, I’ve had quite a bit of trouble, including several signs of infection: malaise, ear pain, hot breath, fat glands, and so on.
Apparently my tonsil is going to continue to be problem. If I can make one stone, I can make two. The one that came out on August 5 was a nasty specimen, and getting rid of it was a great idea, but not a cure. I will probably have to get rid of the tonsil.
About 40,000 readers so far, with a high-average reading time, and steadily increasing. It’s actually one of the most technically interesting success stories in my publishing history: I expected it to get basically no attention whatsoever, but Google has steadily ranked it higher and higher, making it my best-ever example of high-ranking content without inbound links. ↩
Four separate MDs — two of them ear, nose, and throat specialists — had told me decisively that tonsil stones were extremely unlikely to be the cause of my problem. Despite the fact that I kept saying, “It really just feels like there’s something stuck in my tonsil.” ↩
(1) The “raw catch” was what I settled into calling the original symptom; (2) a sharper pain that I could feel every time I flexed the back of my throat; (3) a patch of “hot coals” that would glow brighter every few exhalations, like I was blowing on a fire. ↩