Bed & Forced Breakfast Socializing

Not a huge B&B fan. Kim and I stayed in a small B&B in Yellowknife last weekend for the summer solstice and midnight sun. Strangers in my face before coffee is completely unacceptable. It’s bad enough that I’m greeted immediately and cheerfully upon going downstairs — that alone could provoke an ugly incident involving a sugar spoon. But as I pour my coffee and practically sprint past the dining room, one of the other guests reaches out and verbally assaults me, demanding actual conversation: “So, what are your plans today?” Answer in my head:

“My plans? MY PLANS?! How long have I been in this room? Did I LOOK like I was pausing to be chatty? DID I?! MY PLANS ARE TO DRINK THIS %@$!!^ COFFEE IN PEACE GODDAMMIT, WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?!

Actual answer:

“Yeah, not sure. Dunno yet. Um.”

P.S. This post was amazingly popular on Facebook. In fact, it was disconcertingly more popular than my most recent book chapter, That’s not my thigh, which I worked much harder on, and which you should read next. But apparently a great many people feel just as strongly as I do about Bed & Forced Breakfast Socializing.